Fourth Day of Christmas
by AmandaxxPlease
Summary: Christmas was supposed to be a happy day, but for Hermione, it was anything but. Part 4 of the 12 days of one shots.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**Title: Happy Birthday**  
><strong>Pairing: Hermione GrangerDraco Malfoy**  
><strong>Rating: T<strong>  
><strong>Genre: Hurt<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Happy Birthday<strong>

The snow crunching beneath her boots was the only disturbance in the otherwise silent night.

"_Silent night,"_ she thought. "_How ironic."_

She kept walking towards her destination, the path burned into her mind, the haze of her tears doing nothing to deter her.

In her hands she carried a paper crane, the folds and creases flawless but the paper stained with salt water.

In her head she counted the steps she took. "_19,20,21."_ At "_25"_ a sob upset her controlled breathing. At "_30"_ the tears finally fell. At "_46"_ she stopped in front of the small grave belonging to the one she loved most of all.

Her eyes scanned the limestone and her lips mouthed the engraving.

_S.D.M._

_Beloved Son_

_December 25, 2003_

Only one date: that's all he ever lived. Her mother once told her when she was young that it was the hyphen in between the dates that mattered, but there was no hyphen present and she decided that his one date was more important than any hyphen she would ever see again.

She knelt down in front of the stone and set the crane on top of the snow at her feet.

"Good evening my love," she whispered. That whisper was the loudest sound she had heard in days. "I know that I wasn't here last week, but Mummy had to prepare for today. I didn't make you a cake because Mummy is a rubbish cook but I made you a crane. It looks just like the one I made you last Christmas, in the hospital room."

A pained gasp escaped her lips, the warm air evaporating in the stillness. She didn't bother wiping her tears away; she couldn't feel them anyway. She thought momentarily that she should cast a heating charm around her body, but she quickly pushed the thought away to focus on her task.

"I wanted to come and spend your birthday with you, but Uncle Harry made me go to the Burrow. He said it was too cold to be here all day and that the family missed me." She sniffed and brought her hand to rest on her cheek; her elbow rested on her knee to hold up her head. "You see, Mummy has been at home a lot lately and her friends haven't been able to come over. Mummy likes being alone with her books. You would understand that. I used to read to you every day."

The wind blew her hair away from her face making the dampness residing there sting painfully.

"I love you, Scorpius but it is very late and Mummy is very tired so I'm going to sing to you now, love."

She reached out and stroked the word "Son" before a soft melody crept from her mouth.

"You are my sunshine;

My only sunshine.

You make me happy

When skies are grey.

"You'll never know dear,

How much I love you.

So please don't take

My sunshine away."

She fell to her knees and cradled her head in her hands but this did nothing to muffle the earth shattering cries that wracked her entire being. She never heard the other person approach but when she noticed the extra shadow, she stood up and spun around, her wand pulled from her sleeve and tight in her grip, tears still running down her face.

"What are you doing here," she demanded.

The figure stood a bit taller but never moved away from the wand pointed at him. "He's my blood too, Granger."

The use of her last name and the drawl of the familiar voice made her deflate but her wand didn't waver.

"I have just as much right as you do, love," Draco sighed, moving closer to her and the place where their son lay.

When she fully registered what was happening, she slid her wand back into her holster and simply nodded to him before turning back to the grave. She felt his presence next to her but was thankful that he didn't touch her. "_He knows you better than that, Hermione,"_ she chastised herself.

"_But I haven't seen him in months,"_ she argued in her head.

"_He's in love with you; do you really think time and distance matters?"_

"_I've changed since then."_

"_But not that much."_

She hadn't realized that Draco was speaking to her until he waved a hand in front of her face. "Sorry. What was that?"

"I said that you look well. Better from the last time I saw you."

"Yeah. I mean, I still look like hell, but Ginny finally got me into proper clothes. Christmas at the Burrow and all that."

"Yeah," was all he said.

They stood there in silence for a long time before she heard Draco whisper, "Happy birthday, buddy. I miss you more than you know." He bent down much like Hermione had been earlier. "I had to travel a long way to see you, but I'd do anything for you."

Hermione covered her mouth and tried to blink the tears away. She wanted to run. Close her eyes and walk the path down to the gate. Take those 46 steps and return to her flat so she could fall asleep in her favorite chair.

"I still don't understand why he is here all alone. He could be with his family, you know? There's room."

Hermione's head shot up and her words were dripping with venom. "They aren't his family and she's there, Malfoy. Your aunt. Her memory and the sick, twisted things she did. They linger all around that land." The moon hurt Hermione's bloodshot eyes, but she refused to break eye contact with the man standing in front of her. "She did this to me. To him. To us. She… she took him away and now I can never," Hermione wiped at her nose, took a deep breath and looked at Draco calmly. The moonlight reflecting off of his wedding band temporarily distracted her, but she shook her head a focused. "You know what the healers said. Bellatrix's torture ripped parts of me to shreds. The stress and the nightmares and the tremors are all because of her. She made me weak. I couldn't carry him. I'm so weak. It's all my fau—." She couldn't continue so she shook her head and fought to control her breathing. "No. This is a good place for him."

Draco just stared at her, pain crippling his handsome face. She couldn't stop the way her heart clenched and the want to touch him, but still, when he stepped to her, she stepped back. "Come back to me, Hermione," she heard him say. "Come home. I love you," his voice broke. "Hermione, I need you."

"I can't. Draco, I can't." She looked up at him and slid her wand to her hand. "I'm flawed. I'm beyond repair. I'm shattered," and then she was gone.


End file.
